Jector
02-27-2010, 03:42 PM
Hi. My name is Richard Everstrong but my handle is Jector. Thought I'd tell you a bit about myself.
I was born in Atlanta in an age of confusion and extreme extremeness. When I leaped out of the womb some bastard in white slapped me. He died at my hands. After screwing three hot nurses for an hour and a half, I went exploring. It was Monday morning.
By noon Tuesday I had the key to the city, owned everything North of I-20, and had written a bestselling novel. I lost my fortune in a high stakes poker game because I felt bad for my impoverished foe; Ned Turner I think his name was. Hopefully he learned a thing or two since then. By midnight I found and lost Jesus, fought off an alien invasion, swam the English channel, and got the most awesome tattoo ever.
Wednesday was slow because I slept in. I would have gotten up earlier but Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, and Cameron Diaz were begging me to stay in bed. I still managed to write 2 screenplays at the request of James Cameron and Clint Eastwood. Alfred Hitchcock came back from the dead to challenge them to a duel for the rights.
I became interested in motorcycles on Thursday just after creating peace in the Mid-East. Declining the Moto GP's constant requests to show their racers how to properly handle their rides, I test rode every motorcycle known to man. Being dissatisfied with the results, I designed my own bike from the ground up. NASA offered to build it for me but they couldn't meet my specs so I bought a 10 million dollar manufacturing plant just to build it. It's a 2,500 cc (well, 2,499 if we're being truthful) sportbike with twin turbos, nitrous, an intercooler, carbon fiber bodywork with a titanium chassis. It had to have wheelie bars and a wing put on to keep it on the ground. 0 to 60 is obtained at 1.3 seconds. It produces 375 horsepower at 17k RPM. I wanted to see what something closer to redline would produce but the scientific community was worried about rifts in the space/time continuum.
A short ride on the Cataphract showed one minor flaw in the design, it travels too fast for any paint to stay on the bodywork. I've already drawn up a molecular bonding paint that should fix that problem. I rode a wheelie from 85 at Sugarloaf to Nebraska for practice. Guinness has been notified of the new land speed record. 47 state troopers tried to stop me along the way but I evaded them all. Feeling sorry for their doomed attempts, I turned myself in. Three of the troopers were in tears as they walked me to my cell. I escaped the maximum security penitentiary less than an hour later. On the way back to Georgia I ended up slaughtering an elite force of commandos that the Israelis had sent after my for my putting an end to their war. There were about 120 of them. One of them managed to cut me with a knife as he crumpled to the ground but I refused to bleed.
It's Saturday. What's up, bitches?
I was born in Atlanta in an age of confusion and extreme extremeness. When I leaped out of the womb some bastard in white slapped me. He died at my hands. After screwing three hot nurses for an hour and a half, I went exploring. It was Monday morning.
By noon Tuesday I had the key to the city, owned everything North of I-20, and had written a bestselling novel. I lost my fortune in a high stakes poker game because I felt bad for my impoverished foe; Ned Turner I think his name was. Hopefully he learned a thing or two since then. By midnight I found and lost Jesus, fought off an alien invasion, swam the English channel, and got the most awesome tattoo ever.
Wednesday was slow because I slept in. I would have gotten up earlier but Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, and Cameron Diaz were begging me to stay in bed. I still managed to write 2 screenplays at the request of James Cameron and Clint Eastwood. Alfred Hitchcock came back from the dead to challenge them to a duel for the rights.
I became interested in motorcycles on Thursday just after creating peace in the Mid-East. Declining the Moto GP's constant requests to show their racers how to properly handle their rides, I test rode every motorcycle known to man. Being dissatisfied with the results, I designed my own bike from the ground up. NASA offered to build it for me but they couldn't meet my specs so I bought a 10 million dollar manufacturing plant just to build it. It's a 2,500 cc (well, 2,499 if we're being truthful) sportbike with twin turbos, nitrous, an intercooler, carbon fiber bodywork with a titanium chassis. It had to have wheelie bars and a wing put on to keep it on the ground. 0 to 60 is obtained at 1.3 seconds. It produces 375 horsepower at 17k RPM. I wanted to see what something closer to redline would produce but the scientific community was worried about rifts in the space/time continuum.
A short ride on the Cataphract showed one minor flaw in the design, it travels too fast for any paint to stay on the bodywork. I've already drawn up a molecular bonding paint that should fix that problem. I rode a wheelie from 85 at Sugarloaf to Nebraska for practice. Guinness has been notified of the new land speed record. 47 state troopers tried to stop me along the way but I evaded them all. Feeling sorry for their doomed attempts, I turned myself in. Three of the troopers were in tears as they walked me to my cell. I escaped the maximum security penitentiary less than an hour later. On the way back to Georgia I ended up slaughtering an elite force of commandos that the Israelis had sent after my for my putting an end to their war. There were about 120 of them. One of them managed to cut me with a knife as he crumpled to the ground but I refused to bleed.
It's Saturday. What's up, bitches?