some things us flight attendants go through

[flygirl]

so I board the plane to work my flight...put my bags up and pull out my Ducati books that came with my new bike..I put them by my jumpseat in the seat back area where my bags are and then go on to perform my inflight duties...I was going to read the books later in flight when things slowed down...well the flight got busy and I never got around to it...at the end of the flight when passengers were still deplaning I looked down and noticed one of my Ducati books was gone!!!!!! Had I noticed before a single person got off that plane I would have blocked that door and made an announcement that nobody was getting off till I got my book back...dag nabitt!!!! :pullhair::soapbox:

[DANE]

One of my best friends wife has flown with American forever and she never runs out of stories!

[Lazarus]

Aw that sucks bad. I would be pissed too. I mean flight attendant aside having something stolen from you sucks.

[flygirl]

One of my best friends wife has flown with American forever and she never runs out of stories!

yea you would not believe the stuff that goes on..the flying public never ceases to amaze me ...honestly sometimes its just down right crazy

[ROCKER]

STFU and bring me a coke.

[flygirl]

STFU and bring me a coke.

you I would pop a chute and throw down the slide

[ROCKER]

I miss the way you talked dirty to me. :(

[Woodk61000]

Have you read the book, "Bad flight attendant"? I got a chance to have a couple beers with the author a few years back. Pretty good laughs in there

[Lazarus]

yea you would not believe the stuff that goes on..the flying public never ceases to amaze me ...honestly sometimes its just down right crazy

Anyone ever offered to take you to the mile high club?

[KTM Rider]

yea you would not believe the stuff that goes on..the flying public never ceases to amaze me ...honestly sometimes its just down right crazy

A lot of them need to take it to Greyhound where they belong:up:

[flygirl]

Anyone ever offered to take you to the mile high club?

your fantasizing about me again arent you laz ? :lol:

[flygirl]

Have you read the book, "Bad flight attendant"? I got a chance to have a couple beers with the author a few years back. Pretty good laughs in there

no I haven t heard about that book...ill have to check it out :)

[Georgiacbr]

your fantasizing about me again arent you laz ? :lol:

NO Laz is fantasizing about having to spank me 33 times and hell I was joking too (LOL). Dam I need to fly on your airlines a little more but Delta seems to get the attention here a little more.

[flygirl]

NO Laz is fantasizing about having to spank me 33 times and hell I was joking too (LOL). Dam I need to fly on your airlines a little more but Delta seems to get the attention here a little more.

well if he wants to spank you 33 times at mile high I give you guys the ticket if I can take pics and posted em on the bike boards

[Lazarus]

your fantasizing about me again arent you laz ? :lol:

http://n2.nabble.com/images/smiley/smiley_whistling.gif

[meghan]

I'd rather think it was a little kid who saw it and said, "pretty!" without really understanding that taking it was stealing. That makes me feel better about society.

[NiceGuysFinishLast]

you I would pop a chute and throw down the slide

I've wanted to do this since the first time I read the safety card on an airplane.

[willr1]

Why do the fly attendants or stewardess' fly with their backs to the passengers? We had a weird thing occur on Delta coming back from Costa Rica and I had to let the attendant know what was going on since she was not able to watch. Also, can you not taze the idiots that get up to use the bathroom or use their electronic devices before it is safe to do so ? I can't stand take off and Im very nervous at that point and when you have people playing on their laptops during the accent, then get up and go to the bathroom 5min's in the air, I want to break their legs.

[ramm]

Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?

[Georgiacbr]

Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?

Yea I need a coke or some pepsi.

[ramm]

More like a sammich, I want a sammich.

[Georgiacbr]

well if he wants to spank you 33 times at mile high I give you guys the ticket if I can take pics and posted em on the bike boards


That ain't going to happen now if the pictures was you doing that I would say Yes to that LOL.....Oh the fun and joy's on these pictures getting on here would indeed be intresting. I would have to play it off like it's photoshop or something (grin)

[TroyBoy30]

More like a sammich, I want a sammich.

so he's spanking laz and making you sammiches? WTF!

[Georgiacbr]

so he's spanking laz and making you sammiches? WTF!

WTF this has gotten totally twisted now (LOL). Birthday spankings was yesterdays news now flygirl give me my pillow and Pepsi..

[Georgiacbr]

More like a sammich, I want a sammich.

Chris NO you need a MANWICH lol lol lol lol..OMG these jokes have gone too far someone put this to the boneyard and fast..

[ramm]

Squeezed between two men? That sounds hot. (no homo)

[Georgiacbr]

squeezed between two men? That sounds hot. (no homo)

lmaf..............................

[wallypiper]

Why do the fly attendants or stewardess' fly with their backs to the passengers? We had a weird thing occur on Delta coming back from Costa Rica and I had to let the attendant know what was going on since she was not able to watch. Also, can you not taze the idiots that get up to use the bathroom or use their electronic devices before it is safe to do so ? I can't stand take off and Im very nervous at that point and when you have people playing on their laptops during the accent, then get up and go to the bathroom 5min's in the air, I want to break their legs.

Try to relax, man. Once the gear is up, it's all over with. It's just that transition from rolling to flying that's the iffy part of every flight. Once you leave the ground it's fly or die. A laptop and a guy in the aisle isn't going to matter.


WTF this has gotten totally twisted now (LOL). Birthday spankings was yesterdays news now flygirl give me my pillow and Pepsi..

Pillow? You want a pillow? There's a fee for that you know.

[Mongo]

If you're worried about other passengers on a laptop don't think about the pilots and what they're doing :D

[KTM Rider]

Try to relax, man. Once the gear is up, it's all over with. It's just that transition from rolling to flying that's the iffy part of every flight. Once you leave the ground it's fly or die. A laptop and a guy in the aisle isn't going to matter.

Actually after V1 on the roll, its all over with....you're going flying even if your engine quits or you're on fire:lol:

[Hammerhead]

Why is every single male flight attendant a flaming homosexual?

[keevo54]

ever catch anyone joining the mile high club?

[Spicoli]

Why is every single male flight attendant a flaming homosexual?

Do this really need a response?

[Back Marker]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Km9o8iVz550/RditVdVz77I/AAAAAAAAAWM/iC_4nCGmpmU/s200/stewardess_200pix.jpg

what flight is she on? yeah bay bee....

-a|ex

[flygirl]

Why is every single male flight attendant a flaming homosexual?

they are not...we have alot more straight guys coming into the career ...we are hiring ;)

[flygirl]

ever catch anyone joining the mile high club?

yes and one of my favorite memorys of this sort of thing is with my old airline...there were 9 of us flight attendants working on a L1011 and a couple went into the restroom together...they were in there quite a while and we were all outside the door with our arms crossed looking sturn...you should have seen the girls face and the excuses that came out of thier mouths trying to explain..we flight attendants have fun with that one :D

[flygirl]

Why do the fly attendants or stewardess' fly with their backs to the passengers? We had a weird thing occur on Delta coming back from Costa Rica and I had to let the attendant know what was going on since she was not able to watch. Also, can you not taze the idiots that get up to use the bathroom or use their electronic devices before it is safe to do so ? I can't stand take off and Im very nervous at that point and when you have people playing on their laptops during the accent, then get up and go to the bathroom 5min's in the air, I want to break their legs.

we have certain safety related dutiies and postions that we have to be in during different phases of flight...so we cant always be on top babysitting every single person but I promise you that we do our best..and no we cant taze lol but im sure alot of us wish we could sometimes...I had a man not listen to me when he got up and the sign was on and we were about to hit rough air..i told him and he ignored me then the rough air hit and he was thrown on top of me which resulted in me getting a minor injury...my job is always challenging but I do my best...

[wallypiper]

Sometimes, you know, you just gotta go. You know the sign is on and there might be rough air and you might even end up peeing all over yourself but when the choice is risk that or just pee in your seat, which would you rather we choose?

[willr1]

Sometimes, you know, you just gotta go. You know the sign is on and there might be rough air and you might even end up peeing all over yourself but when the choice is risk that or just pee in your seat, which would you rather we choose?

That's why you go before you get on the plane, now if you have the "rumble in the jungle" goin on , then ok drop a load in the toilet, not the seat. But I have never seen so many people go the bathroom right after take off, one man three times in 30min. That crap is annoying seeing people get up and down all the time.

Sorry, but I dont dig the take off and when the captain say's no electronic devices, that means NO, I dont know if it messes with the "flux copacitor" and could cause the plane to do weird stuff, so I have a nervous reaction to want to break the crap over their heads.

I know attendants cant babysit, but the case that occured was this middle eastern man and woman (later to be Israli) acting suspecious which caused him to almost meet his maker. We just boarded and his wife (was preggers) was coming out of the bathroom. We took off and were climbing, not at 10k feet yet and he begins to look around at the back of the plane...alot. Then, his wife, who was not sitting with him, gets up and goes to the bathroom again, stay's in there for about 8mins, then heads back up. He looks around again and looks at me and then continues to look back and all around. This goes on for 15min or so. We finally level out and his wife goes back to the restroom again. When she returns, he stands up and gives her a hug and kiss then proceeds to go the rear. When he gets to the restroom, he stops, faces the cabin, takes out his Tora/Koran, puts on a "beenie hat" and begins to bow up and down, patting his heart and kissing the book. Then, after I roll up a magazine to take him out as I feard his wife had might have carried something "in her" to the toilet and he was saying his "matyre" prayer, he looked at me and then smiled and walked back up to his seat and sat down. Talking about some scary crap.
Now before you all go off and pre judge, you must understand why I felt this way. I am a former cop, FAA certified to fly armed, former government sercurity operator with tours all over the world and I train foreign military/police, which has brought me invaluable knowledge of some cultures. I have never seen a Hebrew person stand and perform a prayer like that, ever! The only person was our translator who was Muslim and the flight attendants had no clue what he was doing. His constant movement and looking around, lack of information to the attendants to be aware that he wanted to pray like that in public, his wife continuing to get up, led me to think she had a nice chemical cocktail that she carried for him in her orfice and he was going to sacrafice himself during Ramamdon.

So, that's why I hate when people dont listen to the captain.

[flygirl]

Sometimes, you know, you just gotta go. You know the sign is on and there might be rough air and you might even end up peeing all over yourself but when the choice is risk that or just pee in your seat, which would you rather we choose?

yea i gotcha...understand

[speedracer]

[QUOTE=wallypiper;54758]Sometimes, you know, you just gotta go. You know the sign is on and there might be rough air and you might even end up peeing all over yourself but when the choice is risk that or just pee in your seat, which would you rather we choose?[/QU

That's why you go before you get on the plane, now if you have the "rumble in the jungle" goin on , then ok drop a load in the toilet, not the seat. But I have never seen so many people go the bathroom right after take off, one man three times in 30min. That crap is annoying seeing people get up and down all the time.

Sorry, but I dont dig the take off and when the captain say's no electronic devices, that means NO, I dont know if it messes with the "flux copacitor" and could cause the plane to do weird stuff, so I have a nervous reaction to want to break the crap over their heads.

I know attendants cant babysit, but the case that occured was this middle eastern man and woman (later to be Israli) acting suspecious which caused him to almost meet his maker. We just boarded and his wife (was preggers) was coming out of the bathroom. We took off and were climbing, not at 10k feet yet and he begins to look around at the back of the plane...alot. Then, his wife, who was not sitting with him, gets up and goes to the bathroom again, stay's in there for about 8mins, then heads back up. He looks around again and looks at me and then continues to look back and all around. This goes on for 15min or so. We finally level out and his wife goes back to the restroom again. When she returns, he stands up and gives her a hug and kiss then proceeds to go the rear. When he gets to the restroom, he stops, faces the cabin, takes out his Tora/Koran, puts on a "beenie hat" and begins to bow up and down, patting his heart and kissing the book. Then, after I roll up a magazine to take him out as I feard his wife had might have carried something "in her" to the toilet and he was saying his "matyre" prayer, he looked at me and then smiled and walked back up to his seat and sat down. Talking about some scary crap.
Now before you all go off and pre judge, you must understand why I felt this way. I am a former cop, FAA certified to fly armed, former government sercurity operator with tours all over the world and I train foreign military/police, which has brought me invaluable knowledge of some cultures. I have never seen a Hebrew person stand and perform a prayer like that, ever! The only person was our translator who was Muslim and the flight attendants had no clue what he was doing. His constant movement and looking around, lack of information to the attendants to be aware that he wanted to pray like that in public, his wife continuing to get up, led me to think she had a nice chemical cocktail that she carried for him in her orfice and he was going to sacrafice himself during Ramamdon.

So, that's why I hate when people dont listen to the captain.

i think based on your training you acted like you should've. I agree i was a pilot for awhile and i does get old when people dont listen when your trying to give them life saving advice.

[ttruckinon]

you I would pop a chute and throw down the slide

At 10,000 feet?

[wallypiper]

Well that's all a little different from Joe business traveler needing to dump that second cup of coffee. I get a little irritated by the people that refuse to turn off their gadgets but it's because I know that the flight might end up getting held up while the cabin safety engineers deal with him. Many tests have so far failed to show any relationship between any consumer electronic devices and the avionics and control systems on airplanes. And those are all in use at 35,000 feet too but it's OK to listen to your ipod up there. But I'm generally of the rules are rules persuasion and I generally follow all the rules. And I DO go before I get on a plane. I like window seats and would much prefer not to use the lav on the plane at all at any point during the flight but my bladder doesn't always attend the preflight briefing.

[Seca]

I have never even been in the lav on a plane. I also like window seat so I go right before I board the plane.

[Seca]

Anyone ever offered to take you to the mile high club?

I never really saw the attraction to the mile high club but for those interested.. Mile High Atlanta (http://www.milehighatlanta.com/)

[Eagalicious]

At 10,000 feet?


From what I have gathered about her... YEP!!! She would kill'em!! :rofl:

cracks open the Ducati magazine. "ooooh... PRETTY!!!!!!"
hides the magazine and whistles in a non-chalant manner and looks around :run:

[flygirl]

From what I have gathered about her... YEP!!! She would kill'em!! :rofl:

cracks open the Ducati magazine. "ooooh... PRETTY!!!!!!"
hides the magazine and whistles in a non-chalant manner and looks around :run:

you got that right eagalicious :lol: and I still havent replaced the mag yet...gotta call the shop where I bought it

[NiceGuysFinishLast]

you got that right eagalicious :lol: and I still havent replaced the mag yet...gotta call the shop where I bought it


Hope your $30 magazine isn't on backorder. :lol: :lol: :D

[wallypiper]

I have never even been in the lav on a plane. I also like window seat so I go right before I board the plane.

ATL-LAX: 4 hours 50 minutes

:beer::nono:

:coffee::nono:

[nhs]

Why do the fly attendants or stewardess' fly with their backs to the passengers? We had a weird thing occur on Delta coming back from Costa Rica and I had to let the attendant know what was going on since she was not able to watch. Also, can you not taze the idiots that get up to use the bathroom or use their electronic devices before it is safe to do so ? I can't stand take off and Im very nervous at that point and when you have people playing on their laptops during the accent, then get up and go to the bathroom 5min's in the air, I want to break their legs.

The whole "eletronic devices interfering with instrumentation" argument is BS, apparently. A good friend of mine is a commercial airline pilot - he explained that most pilots are on the phone in the cockpit at lower altitudes. And if it really was that harmful, I doubt airlined (e.g. Delta) would have installed satellite TV and WIFI on planes...

[KTM Rider]

The whole "eletronic devices interfering with instrumentation" argument is BS, apparently. A good friend of mine is a commercial airline pilot - he explained that most pilots are on the phone in the cockpit at lower altitudes. And if it really was that harmful, I doubt airlined (e.g. Delta) would have installed satellite TV and WIFI on planes...

that would be virtually impossible for 2 reasons.

1) sterile cockpit rules prohibit non essential activity on the flight deck at 10,000 ft and below and the CVR records for 30 minutes on a loop. great to lose your job and your career.
2) at the speed airliners fly, even at "low altitudes" they are blowing through cell sites so fast that they would never be able to complete a call.

[Seca]

Is anal leakage part of the job also?

[Mongo]

that would be virtually impossible for 2 reasons.

1) sterile cockpit rules prohibit non essential activity on the flight deck at 10,000 ft and below and the CVR records for 30 minutes on a loop. great to lose your job and your career.
2) at the speed airliners fly, even at "low altitudes" they are blowing through cell sites so fast that they would never be able to complete a call.

Yet oddly enough I've gotten calls from pilots who were at the time in the air...

Freaky I tells ya.

[nhs]

that would be virtually impossible for 2 reasons.

1) sterile cockpit rules prohibit non essential activity on the flight deck at 10,000 ft and below and the CVR records for 30 minutes on a loop. great to lose your job and your career.
2) at the speed airliners fly, even at "low altitudes" they are blowing through cell sites so fast that they would never be able to complete a call.

Well... I dunno what to tell you other than I heard it from a captain flying for a major US airline.

[flygirl]

is anal leakage part of the job also?

omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

[Seca]

:rofl:


omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

[wallypiper]

There's a couple of important qualifications in Frank's post.
Below 10,000 feet.
speed at low altitude.

Commercial flights spend a lot of time over 10K feet.
At altitude, the hopping from cell to cell can actually slow down since the angles make it possible for a phone to stay connected to a single cell for a while. According to a wiki article, GSM phones/towers have a range of about 23 miles but it can of course be shortened by obstructions. On the other hand, there aren't may obstructions at 33K feet. At a cruise speed of about 500 mph (8.3 miles/minute), a phone at 33K feet could remain connected to a single cell for 5 minutes. I doubt if that's too fast for the system to keep up with and might be enough time to make a complete phone call for many people. I don't doubt that it happens but I do doubt that it happens at low altitude while the plane is being tightly controlled by the various controllers on the ground and the crew is busy with all the communications and checklists and procedures involved in take off and landing. I can't find it at the moment but there is a cockpit video out there from a BA 747 that includes everything from leaving their cruising altitude to touching down. There really isn't much time for chatting on the phone. Captain and first officer both seem pretty thoroughly engaged in the task at hand all the time. Of course they know they are being taped so they may be on their best behavior but between the various communications with the controllers and all the different flight control and nav changes they are making and confirming between themselves, it's hard to imaging making a phone call at the same time.

[KTM Rider]

Yet oddly enough I've gotten calls from pilots who were at the time in the air...

Freaky I tells ya.

In a Cessna? Sure. Below 10k in an airliner its illegal & irresponsible. Above that it hasnt worked on any phone I have seen on any major carrier. It will show service and sit there trying to dial out and connect and yet never does. Some Joe Blow smashing bugs at 100 kts 2k feet overhead is different than in an airline.


Well... I dunno what to tell you other than I heard it from a captain flying for a major US airline.

Cool. My experience is only from one type of aircraft in a major US airline fleet and it never worked in those planes. Perhaps it had something to do with the construction of those planes interfering with the signal...but then again I never tried it or saw it tried at low speed/low altitude.


There's a couple of important qualifications in Frank's post.
Below 10,000 feet.
speed at low altitude.

Commercial flights spend a lot of time over 10K feet.
At altitude, the hopping from cell to cell can actually slow down since the angles make it possible for a phone to stay connected to a single cell for a while. According to a wiki article, GSM phones/towers have a range of about 23 miles but it can of course be shortened by obstructions. On the other hand, there aren't may obstructions at 33K feet. At a cruise speed of about 500 mph (8.3 miles/minute), a phone at 33K feet could remain connected to a single cell for 5 minutes. I doubt if that's too fast for the system to keep up with and might be enough time to make a complete phone call for many people. I don't doubt that it happens but I do doubt that it happens at low altitude while the plane is being tightly controlled by the various controllers on the ground and the crew is busy with all the communications and checklists and procedures involved in take off and landing. I can't find it at the moment but there is a cockpit video out there from a BA 747 that includes everything from leaving their cruising altitude to touching down. There really isn't much time for chatting on the phone. Captain and first officer both seem pretty thoroughly engaged in the task at hand all the time. Of course they know they are being taped so they may be on their best behavior but between the various communications with the controllers and all the different flight control and nav changes they are making and confirming between themselves, it's hard to imaging making a phone call at the same time.

The two idiots who got caught on their laptops at Northwest a while back deliberately went farther east of the airport without contact because when they realized they had blown their radio calls and their last fix because they were dicking around on their laptops, they attempted to fly farther east to burn time so the 30 minute loop on the CVR could be written over in an attempt to land and have the union save their jobs. It still backfired and they had their tickets pulled by the FAA instead but this is an example of why sterile cockpit procedures should be followed and non essential flight deck materials should not be used during aircraft operation. If they want to act like bus drivers talking on the phone, reading books and the paper and sleeping and using their laptops then perhaps they should apply with Greyhound.

[Mongo]

In a Cessna? Sure. Below 10k in an airliner its illegal & irresponsible. Above that it hasnt worked on any phone I have seen on any major carrier. It will show service and sit there trying to dial out and connect and yet never does. Some Joe Blow smashing bugs at 100 kts 2k feet overhead is different than in an airline.

Yes on a major carrier. Dislike it as much as you like, it is possible and that's all I'm addressing. Sorry your calls didn't work - but many others have.

[KTM Rider]

I dont dislike it....it just helps me understand why pilots today get treated the way they do and dont get taken serious by management, etc. If they act like ass clowns that dont command respect they wont get any.

[willr1]

I think the point is...Listen to what the F$ck your told by the captain and stewardess, piss before you board or after the seat belt sign is off and we will have a happy flight.

[Seca]

I think the point is...Listen to what the F$ck your told by the captain and stewardess, piss before you board or after the seat belt sign is off and we will have a happy flight.

and stay away from flight attendants with anal leakage.

[willr1]

unless you make them leak

[flygirl]

and stay away from flight attendants with anal leakage.

shut up seca..hahahahahahah dag nabbitt

[flygirl]

I just spit my coffee out :lol:

[Seca]

I just spit my coffee out :lol:

from your butt?

[NiceGuysFinishLast]

from your butt?


sPit.. :lol:

[willr1]

I could really go somewhere with the whole spitting, butt thing, but just wont out of respect of the coffee

[ramm]

Does it involve hamsters and tubes?

[jkhonea]

Does it involve hamsters and tubes?

Are you trying to get Richard Gere to join the site? :crackup:

[flygirl]

Does it involve hamsters and tubes?

it might for seca if he doesnt quit ...LOL

[Seca]

it might for seca if he doesnt quit ...lol

:lol:

[Lazarus]

Hey Alicia atleast you aren't a sports reporter.

[flygirl]

update: called the shop and they are sending me another book out today :)

[NiceGuysFinishLast]

update: called the shop and they are sending me another book out today :)


That's customer service.

[jkhonea]

That's customer service.

She threatened to go back to the shop with hamsters and tubes.

[NiceGuysFinishLast]

She threatened to go back to the shop with hamsters and tubes.


And NO lube! :lol:

[jkhonea]

And NO lube! :lol:

I heard Richard Gere taught her the method. :crackup:

[Mongo]

update: called the shop and they are sending me another book out today :)

Paul is good people.

[wallypiper]

Um, jumping past the anal leakage tangent and veering back to cell phones on planes, I recall that several people on United 93 called people on their cell phones while in flight, so the reality is that they do work on a plane. And it isn't THAT unusual to hear somebody's cell phone ring on a plane, not necessarily because their deliberately breaking the rules but they just forgot to turn it off and it's in their pocket or purse.


I think the point is...Listen to what the F$ck your told by the captain and stewardess, piss before you board or after the seat belt sign is off and we will have a happy flight.
Get over yourself. I will have a happy flight as long as it takes off and lands and the people in the row in front of me put their seatbacks up during take off and landing so I can get out of my row in a hurry if necessary. As far as I'm concerned, you can talk on your phone and go to the lav any time you want to. Doesn't really affect me.

[Georgiacbr]

Um, jumping past the anal leakage tangent and veering back to cell phones on planes, I recall that several people on United 93 called people on their cell phones while in flight, so the reality is that they do work on a plane. And it isn't THAT unusual to hear somebody's cell phone ring on a plane, not necessarily because their deliberately breaking the rules but they just forgot to turn it off and it's in their pocket or purse.


Get over yourself. I will have a happy flight as long as it takes off and lands and the people in the row in front of me put their seatbacks up during take off and landing so I can get out of my row in a hurry if necessary. As far as I'm concerned, you can talk on your phone and go to the lav any time you want to. Doesn't really affect me.

I agree I use my phone often before flight if people hate me oh well..